


changed

by radholladay



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi, Self Harm, Suicide, note, trigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 00:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radholladay/pseuds/radholladay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which reader looses a loved one and is writing a suicide note to them</p>
            </blockquote>





	changed

**Author's Note:**

> this one took awhile to write  
> please don't read if you're easily triggered by mentions of suicide

It wasn't that I had just lost someone - I just lost my one and only love. The person who was supposed to love me through my old age, the one who would hold my hand when I was down. But now that they're gone, what's really in life for me? They were supposed to always be there for me, but that one extra mile in the car is what took their precious life on this earth away from me. 

I wasn't sure how to handle the news once I got that call from the hospital - the one that changed my life forever. The one call that announced that you were in fact - never coming back. It was my fault - completely and utterly my fault. We had gotten in a fight, I was just so angry, I didn't want to see your face. I told you to leave - I shouldn't have done that. It was middle November, and of course that meant icy roads. It was my fault you left, and it's my fault you're dead.

Your mother hates me, you know that right? She knew all about the fight - you told her. Why would you do that, now I'm stuck with someone who wishes I was dead instead of you. I understand fully though - I wish it was me, and not you. Your mother called me yesterday morning, talking about how the family wanted nothing to do with me - I wasn't even invited to your funeral.

I hate myself too, you know that right? I cause the fight - I just wanted one thing. And you had to leave me with all this hatred - this hatred for myself. I've thought about ending all the stupid thoughts - all the "you weren't good enough anyways," and "he didn't deserve you." But that's not fair is it?

I thought about the fairness of it for awhile, and then I remembered - what happened to you wasn't fair either. I've been thinking for awhile, and I realized it's fair - they lost you, I lost you. Now I have nothing - I'm practically nothing now. I miss you all the time - I can't wait to see you again.

I hope you aren't upset to see me


End file.
